Muso graduate course

The 2 and 3 year courses will continue from next semester for all budding musicians.

Year One
The first year mandatory curriculum is initially split into three streams, white, black and metal.

White
The Beatles, The Velvet Underground and Led Zeppelin..
Black
John Coltrane, Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder (71-75).
Metal
Black Sabbath

Dead
All students study the following:
Nina Simone, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain.

Progress to the second year is conditional upon a 75% end of year mark.

Year Two
Semi optional.

White
Study one of the following:
(a) Joni Mitchell/Neil Young and Nick Drake/Scott Walker (for singer songwriters).
(b) The Stooges and The Smiths (for guitarists).
(c) Can/Neu! and The Who (for drummers/bassists).
(d) Phil Spector and Berlin period Bowie (for DJs/producers).
(e) Jimmy Smith and Kraftwerk* (for keyboard players).
* Those intending to leave at the end of year two may alternatively study Depeche Mode.

Black
Study TWO of the following:
(a) The Staple Singers
(b) Gil Scott-Heron
(c) Curtis Mayfield
(d) Fela Kuti
(e) Afrika Bambaataa

Metal
Advanced Black Sabbath

45% pass mark required to complete the two year "Muso" course.
75% pass mark required to progress to year three.

Cross-over artists on the three-year course may consider doing half white, half black study in year two, though this will prevent them ever headlining Glastonbury.

Musos
Students completing the two year course may then leave to become session musicians, via the completion of a basic end of year project, consisting of either Hawkwind or Earth, Wind and Fire.
Alternatively, students contemplating a different career choice may simply mark their Facebook page as "frustrated musician" and set up a Bandcamp profile.

Year Three
For those intending a professional career in the music industry.

White
Year 1 black course material.
Black
Year 1 white course material.
Metal
Rush and Deep Purple.

All students must attain a 45% pass to progress to the final year project.

Project options
Choose one ONLY of the following.

Pop
Madonna and Michael Jackson (plus 2 additional lectures on Lady Gaga).

Alternative/indie
Sonic Youth and The Kinks.

Production
Joe Meek and Dr Dre.

Dance/DJ
James Brown and Aphex Twin.

Metal
Advanced Hawkwind, advanced Hendrix, advanced Led Zep.

Maverick
One artist/band of the student's own choice*, on the condition that said artist has never had a top 10 single in Italy, and is not Australian.
* Additional marks available for those choosing Miriam Makeba, Gilberto Gil, Stockhausen or artists with no Wikipedia page (though must have commercially available Tshirts).

Final examination and career options
All graduates attaining combined examination and project scores of 75% or more are required to complete a musician's apprenticeship, by either working nights as a hospital porter or 3 weeks at a supermarket checkout before entering X-Factor/Pop Idol at the audition stage.
Graduates attaining 95% or more may open a studio that goes broke in year 2.

Basic entrance requirements
A middle-class background and a solid appreciation of Jimi Hendrix.
Those with previous classical training MUST choose the black option in year one.
Those owning music by Phil Collins, Mariah Carey, Apollo 440 or Fleet Foxes may only complete the two-year shortened course.
Those owning music by UB40 or Emerson, Lake and Palmer need not apply, and should consider a career in music journalism.
Proficiency in a either a musical instrument or basic music theory is not required.